In a corner of the room, where a relatively soft and orange light shines, Sahar holds a pen and paper in her hand. She stands facing a mirror that reflects a dazzling light, reading aloud a text she has prepared for voice acting practice. The mirror has become a camera, capturing her passion and interest in journalism. These days, the mirror is the only thing or person that encourages her to continue, showing her dreams vividly; but achieving her aspirations is like chasing a surreal image that appears more beautiful than reality in the mirror.
Sahar is one of the deprived girls in the Taliban rule, deprived of education and employment opportunities. She is brave and dignified but reserved. After mingling with her for a while, we discuss her studies. Sahar, with a throat full of sorrow and eyes filled with tears, struggles to speak, wiping away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her hands, and says, “I was supposed to enter the second year of university with the start of the new academic year and study at one of the private universities, but once again, universities remained closed to girls.”
I talk more with her, and she speaks of her dreams this time. Sahar wants to become a journalist and be the voice of the people. She says, “When I was a student in elementary school, I wished to become a journalist and be the voice of my people when I grew up.”
But lately, Sahar has lost her dreams in the darkest corners. The excitement of achieving her dreams used to lift her spirits, always making her think of growing up as if her aspirations were waiting eagerly for her to reach them. She thought that with growing up, there would be no obstacles in her way and she could fulfill her dreams, unaware that one day all her dreams and the dreams of Afghan girls would become victims of Taliban decisions.
Despite the numerous restrictions imposed by the Taliban on women’s jobs and girls’ education, Sahar remained undeterred and did not give up her efforts. This time, she sought another way to achieve her dreams and enrolled in an English language learning center in Kabul to pursue educational opportunities abroad.
With determination and courage, she continued on the path she had chosen, but this time, the news of girls’ detention on the pretext of improper veiling by the Taliban became a major obstacle in her path. With this news, the Kabul sky turned blue and black once again. A strange fear gripped the city of Kabul. No woman or girl dared to leave their homes for fear of detention. The atmosphere became completely masculine. Sahar’s family prevented her from going to the educational center. However, Sahar still insisted and pleaded with her family not to let her become another victim of Taliban decisions and not let whatever this group orders must be obeyed, be an ordinary thing. Because the Taliban’s goal is to confine women and girls to their homes forever, and by instilling fear, they seek to triumph in the field.
Despite her abundant pleading, they are not satisfied, and they prevent her from going to the educational center. Now, Sahar, like hundreds of Afghan girls and women, is confined to her home, mourning the failure to achieve her dreams. She wanted to one day stand fearlessly on the platform of freedom of speech without any fear or obstacle, delivering regional and global news to the people and thereby contributing to the progress of her society. Now, she spends her days sewing and sometimes reading books, waiting for a light to emerge after darkness; a light that would overcome the Taliban and drive them out of her land.
Sahar spends the toughest days of her life because she not only fights against the demands of the Taliban but also against her family’s wishes. Her father opposes her education in journalism and has repeatedly told her that she will not achieve anything by studying this field. Her father says, “You won’t be anything.”
The restrictions imposed by the Taliban and her father’s wishes have led her to the brink of surrender. After countless efforts, she has yet to find a way out of this dilemma. She feels helpless, with no solution in sight. While unable to release the pent-up frustration of her dreams, she coldly whispers, wishing she had never grown up.