Burying desires, overlooking, and moving past them is something I’ve experienced repeatedly from childhood to this day. I’m a girl raised in an enlightened family within a society dominated by men. Since childhood, I’ve harbored the dream of becoming a news presenter, and I’ve always strived to achieve this wish. To attain this success, I’ve experimented with everything from listening to the news to practicing in front of the mirror, speaking at formal gatherings during school days, reading newspapers, and participating in public speaking classes. In the year 2021, I was a student in the eleventh grade, studying hard for the university entrance exam. Although we spent our days and nights amidst the sounds of war, my determination to continue remained steadfast, and I had no intention of giving up. The intensity of the war between government forces and militant insurgents grew each day, to the point where schools were closed without exams being held, and after a few days, we witnessed the fall of cities.
As the republic system collapsed in Afghanistan, the people of the country experienced a severe blow both mentally and economically, and I was one of them. After the government fell and the doors of schools closed to girls, I fell into despair. I felt like my hands and feet were tied, unable to do anything for my future. With each passing day, the confinement of the house became harder for me to bear, and I tried to find a way out of this situation.
The Taliban closed all avenues for girls, and I, still hopeful, was searching for a refuge from this situation. After months of being away from school and the classroom environment, I managed to enroll in online language classes and almost regained my spirits. I would repeat school lessons at home every day and fill my spare time with learning a language, reading novels and motivational books, practicing painting, and various other activities. But not going to school and ignoring the teachers’ lessons still tortured me. I spent the entire winter listening to promises of schools reopening by the Taliban, and I was ecstatic at the thought that I would go back to school and achieve my goals in the new year. However, with the start of the new school year, all of us girls above the sixth grade were banned from going to school, and the doors of schools remained closed to us on the very first day of the year.
Now that the new year and the new spring have arrived, and we have passed through the winter hoping for the reopening of school and university doors, we are faced with disappointment and rejection. The school bell rang, but not for girls. We witnessed the beginning of the third year under Taliban rule in Afghanistan, and we are still trapped in uncertainty. The Taliban, claiming to establish an Islamic government, struck a blow to women’s rights in Afghanistan by prohibiting girls from work and education under the pretext of Sharia law. However, those who are somewhat aware of women’s rights and human rights do not accept such oppression. Now we have another dark year ahead, and I have truly lost the enthusiasm and motivation I once had, feeling like my hands and feet are tied. This is not just my situation; it’s the situation of many girls in Afghanistan, girls who are eagerly awaiting the reopening of school and university doors.