“I was born in a village hidden deep in the Hindu Kush mountains, where I spent my childhood until they married me off.” Gulnisa was forced to marry an officer from the former army. She became the second wife of a man who already had children her age. Gulnisa, once a young girl with no understanding of life beyond the simple games of her village, suddenly found herself sharing a bed with a man she barely knew, a man she had no choice but to call her husband. She endured the bitter resentment of his first wife, who had suffered a fate much like hers and took on the burden of being a stepmother to children who blamed her for breaking their family apart.
In such a traditional society, being a second wife—or even a first wife—meant a life of constant hardship, where survival was the only goal. In this world, women were viewed as tools, and the men of the family decided how to solve problems, often by sacrificing a woman’s life, body, and soul. Religion and customs played a significant role in justifying these practices. Gulnisa’s marriage wasn’t about her; it was arranged to secure the loyalty of her husband in protecting her brother from his enemies.
“I didn’t know about the marriage until the night of the henna ceremony,” Gulnisa remembers. “When I found out, I felt so trapped that I tried to take my own life. I swallowed rat poison, but when I woke up, I was in a hospital. Even that desperate act only delayed my family’s plans. They secretly married me off without any celebration.”
In such societies, where men held the power and women had little say in decisions—whether within the family or the community—women like Gulnisa were forced to stay silent, accepting the fate others had chosen for them. Illiteracy and the ban on working were just some of the harsh consequences women faced growing up in these traditional societies. Gulnisa’s story is not unique; countless women in Afghanistan’s villages live lives just like hers. Struggling with worsening economic conditions and the increasing difficulties of rural life, Gulnisa, along with her five stepchildren, left her village in Khost and Fereng in Baghlan province and headed for Kabul.
Her husband was later killed by the Taliban in Maidan Wardak province. After his death, her stepchildren took the compensation money the government gave to families of fallen soldiers and ordered her to return to her parents: “My stepchildren forced me to transfer my husband’s estate to the eldest stepson. They even beat me. At one point, they tried to suffocate my son—their half-brother—with a pillow.”
Unable to bear the relentless pressure, Gulnisa was forced out of her home. The violence and threats drove her to the TV Hill area of Kabul, where she lived in a cave for a time. Local villagers, moved by her plight, directed her to an orphanage in Kabul. But the orphanage’s rules didn’t allow her to stay with her children. After much hardship, Gulnisa finally found a job in the emergency department of Wazir Akbar Khan Hospital and began a new life.
However, her peace was short-lived. Her eldest stepson tracked her down and attacked her with a knife. Around this time, the Taliban entered Kabul. Soon after, they started house-to-house searches. During one of these raids, they found photos of her husband in a military uniform in her home. The Taliban beat her and demanded she hand over his rifle. Thanks to her neighbors, she managed to escape, and a family who knew of her situation helped her flee to Iran with financial support.
Even in Iran, Gulnisa’s stepchildren tracked her down and threatened to take her children away. Now, she lives in hiding. Iran’s strict laws against undocumented migrants have made life harder for her, and her children, instead of going to school, have been forced to work to survive.
Gulnisa’s story represents just a glimpse of the suffering endured by thousands of women living under violence, discrimination, and injustice. The Taliban’s new restrictions on women have silenced these stories, keeping the voices of victims hidden. Women, who make up half the country’s population, live in fear and uncertainty about what the future holds.
You can read the Persian version of this Afghan woman’s story here:
سرگذشت گلنسا؛ از ازدواج اجباری تا تهدید پسران ناتنی و شلاق طالبان | روزنامه ۸صبح
