The name of Ahmad Shah Massoud is often written alongside the great guerrilla fighters and commanders of modern history, such as Ernesto “Che” Guevara and Fidel Castro. Journalists from Iran and other writers typically describe him this way, praising his record and legacy. Among Afghans, however, Massoud is remembered primarily as the National Hero and as Āmr Sāhib (respected commander), though, according to his wife, Massoud himself preferred to be called “Āmr Sāhib.”
In the more than two decades since Ahmad Shah Massoud’s death, both Afghan and foreign writers have explored different dimensions of his life, attempting either to highlight important aspects of his legacy or to shed light on its hidden corners. Among the foreign authors are Sudhi S. Sengupta, an Indian writer; Marie-Françoise Colombani, a French journalist; Sandy Gall, a British correspondent; and Zhila Bini-Yaqoub, an Iranian writer. With new and independent books on Massoud, they have sought to capture lesser-known elements of his life. Most of these works, however, focus on the events of war, the battles, and the years of jihad and resistance. His marriage, his relationship with women, and his views on women’s education have received far less attention, and very few authors have examined this side of his life and character. Without doubt, studying Ahmad Shah Massoud’s life as a major and renowned commander is both valuable and revealing, as it introduces him more fully to readers, satisfies curiosity, and answers many questions.
This essay focuses instead on his marriage, his attitude toward women, and his views on women’s education.
Sediqa Massoud, Ahmad Shah Massoud’s wife, was the first to recount his private life in detail, intimately, extensively, and with candor. Her narrative matters greatly, in my view, because she lived beside him for years, grew up amid his wars and memories, and shared life with him in its most difficult circumstances. Sediqa’s account of Massoud reveals another facet of his life, one that places him within the measure of both criticism and admiration from readers.
Ahmad Shah Massoud’s Marriage
In her book My Life with Massoud, written in French with the collaboration of Marie-Françoise Colombani and Shikiba Hashimi, and translated into Persian by Afsar Afshari, Sediqa Massoud offers a portrait of her husband’s private life. In this work, she provides accounts of their marriage, his conduct toward women and his family, and memories of life with him that had rarely been published before.
Sediqa Massoud was born in Bazarak, Panjshir. At the age of 17, in the midst of war and under conditions of utmost secrecy, she married the 34-year-old Ahmad Shah Massoud. As his wife, she carried an enormous responsibility: to live shoulder to shoulder with him, to endure the hardships of war and exile. Yet she remained in love with life at his side. She writes: “I so deeply wish to speak about him that I hardly know where to begin.” (1)
In Ahmad Shah Massoud: The Story of a Love, she describes their life together as nothing less than a love story. She recalls: “This refined and cultured man—passionate about poetry, literature, and history; this hero of the war against the Soviets took as his wife a simple, inexperienced girl of seventeen, and he loved her. I do not claim to be recounting the great history of my country. Rather, I wish humbly to remain in my own place, the place I had at my husband’s side. What I want to tell is the story of love. And beyond that, it is the story of my own life as an Afghan woman from the Panjshir Valley who lived through twenty-four years of war.” (2)
Sediqa also recounts how she was introduced to Massoud and how their marriage unfolded from the first moments of acquaintance, to his proposal, and then to life together. A passage from her narrative reads: “For Ahmad Shah Massoud to reach his quarters, he had to pass by our house. One might imagine that this meant we constantly saw each other, but it was not so. When he entered his home, his men would announce his arrival beforehand, or he himself would knock on the door, giving us time to hide. Thus, though we lived side by side, we never once encountered each other. He never saw me grow up, nor did I ever hear him speak of me. Like all the girls of my age, I admired him with a kind of innocent love. From time to time, I watched him reading, walking, or speaking with his soldiers. To make up for sleepless nights, Massoud would often rest for a few minutes beneath a tree, his arms crossed over his face. One afternoon, when his young mujahideen believed he was asleep, they began talking about me. One said, ‘Do you know that Khwaja Tajuddin has a very beautiful daughter?’
Another replied: ‘How do you know that?’
‘I’ve seen her,’ came the answer.
‘Well then, go and propose to her! If you don’t, I will!’
The first laughed and said, ‘Good luck! I’d love to be there to see Uncle Tajuddin’s reaction.’
My father was a headstrong and rather reserved man. As a result, neither of these young men dared take such a step. But a wiser voice advised: ‘Better that Amir Sāhib Massoud himself propose on your behalf. He enjoys special respect with Uncle Tajuddin.’ And so Massoud became aware of my existence. He wasted little time; knowing my family, he well understood the circumstances in which I had grown up.” (3)*
Sediqa recalls that Massoud’s curiosity grew, and he wished to see her before deciding about marriage. She explains: “For this reason, several times he entered our house without knocking as he passed to his room. He must have seen me and found me beautiful, for one evening, he resolved to speak directly to my parents. Without any preamble, he summoned them and expressed his wish. My father, stunned and bewildered, sat silent for a long time. He did not know what to say, and Massoud himself was unsure how to respond to this silence. At last, my father spoke: ‘This is impossible. She is far too young. You need a more mature woman who can stand beside you in life.’ Massoud replied: ‘Not at all. The best way to help me is for my wife to accept my way of life. The great advantage your daughter has is that she already knows how I live. She will not be shocked.’ My father resisted for a long while. Finally, Massoud said, ‘I understand now. You oppose this because you believe I may be killed one day, and you fear your daughter’s life will be left unprotected.’ My father, agitated and distressed, answered: ‘How can you say such a thing! For me, it would be the greatest honor to give my daughter to you. I only fear that she is too young for a man of such stature as yourself.’” (4)
Their life together began in the simplest of ways, as was customary in their community.
Massoud’s Love for His Wife
Sediqa describes her years with Massoud as “the story of a love.” She speaks of the deep affection she felt for him and her joy in speaking about him. Yet her accounts present two seemingly contrasting portraits. In Ahmad Shah Massoud: The Story of a Love, she recalls that Massoud did not like his wife to be seen by any man other than himself, not even his own brothers. He told her that he wanted her beauty to be for his eyes alone. But, as Sediqa explains, this was not a restriction or control; it was jealousy born of love. She never saw it as a limitation.
At the same time, she shares a different memory of his conduct, one that reflects not restriction but openness and tenderness: “In the garden, mujahideen were seated everywhere. He would place his arm around my neck and walk with me, while I wore no veil.” (5)
Ahmad Shah Massoud and Women’s Education
Sediqa further recalls that Ahmad Shah Massoud held deep respect for women and wanted them to be educated, to work, and to share equally in hardship alongside men. On the question of women in high government positions, she offers no direct account. But she emphasizes that Massoud was never opposed to women’s education and never imposed mandatory veiling: “My husband always reminded me that the hijab was not compulsory… He believed that Afghans had been oppressed for centuries by traditions and cultural pressures. He often repeated that the Quran grants equal rights to men and women.” (6)
Through Sediqa’s voice, we encounter a portrait of Massoud very different from the usual image of a warrior. Fighters often keep their wives apart from their struggles, excluding them from decisions or confidences. Massoud, by contrast, gave his wife the right to share in his world. He confided in her, from matters of war to the most personal aspects of life. She remembers: “More than once, I heard my husband say to me: ‘Look at how beautiful our country is. Does it not deserve that we defend it with all our soul and body?’” Even in war, he made her his confidante. This personal dimension of his relationship with his wife and family presents Massoud as a different kind of man: enlightened, simple in his way of life, yet profoundly loving. A man who wanted women to be educated and who longed for peace in his homeland.
Sources
- Ahmad Shah Massoud: The Story of a Love, 30
- Same
- Ahmad Shah Massoud: The Story of a Love, 95–96
- , pp. 97–100
- Same
- , p. 181
You can read the Persian version of this article here:
