She says that every decision in her life has turned into a new pain. She has married twice, and both times she lost her husbands. Her life is a mountain of unspoken suffering and grief. Every step of her life has ended in bitterness, and the lifespan of every moment of happiness has passed like a fleeting wind.
Her name is Sama, and she describes herself as “unfortunate.” She says that the first time she married, her husband was a commander, and the result of that marriage was one son and one daughter. Sama adds that their life was full of affection and intimacy, but the duration of that happiness was short, and with the killing of her husband, the carpet of sorrow and grief was spread across her life forever.
This woman adds that her son was only six months old when her husband was killed. According to her, on the very same day, her gold was stolen from a bag inside her house. She says she was living in the house as a pawn of a mortgage, but her father-in-law took the mortgage money and left her alone with her children.
Sama says, “For four years, I endured and struggled with these two pieces of my heart. But when I reached my breaking point, I decided to marry again, a decision that carried a high cost. My brother-in-law took my two children from me by force and through fighting. My world collapsed. There was no law behind me, and no support from society. I had no choice but to accept my unwanted fate. Being separated from my two small children was like a wound that never stopped bleeding. For eight years, because of my children’s uncle stopping me, I could not see their faces, hold them in my arms, or breathe in their scent.”
This woman states that for the second time, she married a man who already had a wife and five children. However, after the wedding, his first wife died of cancer, and the responsibility for the five other children also fell on her shoulders. She says that she herself gave birth to two children with her husband, but later her second husband also died due to a stroke.
Sama adds, “I fled the hardship of life and chose a second husband, but my life became harder than before. I was left to take care of seven children. I worked in people’s homes, doing cleaning, laundry, and ironing. People would sometimes give zakat and charity. The house where we lived was rented, my children’s expenses were high, and my parents’ problems were added to mine as well.”
This woman emphasizes that the uncle of her children, who had taken them from her, has died, but her children remain emotionally distant. She adds, “Their uncle had filled their minds against me, so they did not come with me. My aunt by marriage, who had no children of her own, took responsibility for raising them. Their uncle and my aunt treated them like servants in the house. But my aunt did one truly good thing for me: she changed my children’s negative perception of me. She told them that I had remarried out of desperation and that their uncle had separated them from their mother by force.”
Sama says, “When my daughter turned 15, my aunt married her off. My son has a developmental disability and still lives with my aunt. My second husband’s children gradually grew up. I married off his three daughters. His eldest son left the house with his friends, and to this day, I do not know whether he is alive or dead. His younger son passed away.”
This woman adds, “Now I am left with the two sons I have from my second husband and my elderly parents, and a bitter life. During the republic period, in every house where I worked, I was paid 500 afghanis a day and 10,000 afghanis a month. In addition to that, the homeowner would also provide clothes and food for my children and me. But today, in each house, I am paid only 200 afghanis per day, and if I work monthly in one house, they give me five thousand afghanis. Currently, I work in a house where three families live together. Every day, cleaning, washing clothes, preparing food, washing carpets, and blankets are all on my shoulders. I become extremely exhausted and receive only five thousand afghanis per month.”
Sama emphasizes that years of hard labor in other people’s homes have caused her to develop rheumatism, and now she lives in a rented house. The money she earns from working in people’s homes cannot cover her living expenses. She says, “There is nothing to eat in the house. My children question me about this. It has been a week since we have had no sugar. My sons drink tea without sugar. My youngest son asks: ‘Mother, you go to work every day, why don’t you bring anything to eat? Why don’t you bring sugar?’ And I have no answer for his small heart. Until when will this hardship continue? How much strength do I have left to endure?”
You can read the Persian version of this report here:
رنج بیپایان یک زن؛ از دست دادن همسران تا درد روزمره زندهگی
